Tuesday, October 14, 2008

an analogy

Trying to get things done while mothering small children is like trying to run in water. It's slow and awkward and frustrating...the water sucks at my legs and trips me up no matter with how much energy and passion I throw myself forward. I have great ambitions and start the day full of energy and goals. But I'm still adjusting to the limitations that come with caring for three small ones all day long. I come to the end of days spent working hard and doing my best to accomplish as much as I can, and I'm disappointed with the small progress I've made on projects like painting the deck and getting the wood split and stacked and cleaning the basement (that last one is really just a joke...it's been on my to-do list to go through the things in our basement ever since we moved in two years ago and I haven't started.) And I want to move my rhubarb to a different spot in our yard, and put the shelf back on the wall in the kids' room and go through all the digital pictures we've taken since Raindrop was born and order prints, and edit our family videos and burn them to DVDs, and it's time to seriously start Christmas shopping... My good days are the days when I stop trying to run through the water, relax, and learn to swim. Learn to embrace my new surroundings and work with them...enjoy my kids and let them help and learn as we go, making slow and steady progress on projects while focusing on the things that matter more to me, the daily disciplines of keeping the house clean, reading books, learning the alphabet and counting, making meals and yummy treats, spending time outdoors while the weather's still warm enough, memorizing scripture together. It's hard to accept that I can't do more, but I try to remind myself that the projects are not what matter. It's the relationships in my life that are precious and hold their value over time, and someday I'll look back (I already do) to when my kids were small and wish I could hold all three of them in my lap at once and read to them again. I don't think I'll wish I could go back and repaint the deck.

No comments: